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09 June 2011

So Kyle Barker is MY date?

this gentleman in the photo is Kyle Barker. anybody who watched TV in the 90's knows that Kyle was the pretentious, womanizing, Wall Street broker who later became Max's baby daddy on "Living Single". that show got me through college and "taught" me some dating tricks that may or may not have worked. Kyle was interesting to say the least but not my favorite male character on the show. that honor belonged to Khadijah's boyfriend Scooter. but that is neither here nor there, i will save that for my blog about everybody wanting their own Scooter. back to my story.....

back in the day before online dating was the thing to do, my good friend and old college roommate met a man online. all i knew was his name was David and he graduated from Brown University. being the educational snobs we were, Brown University sounded like the best thing since sliced bread. never mind that she didn't know what he look liked. she said he sent a picture, but who's to say that was really him. she communicated with him regularly and eventually a trip was planned. David lived in Maryland and decided he wanted to come to Virgina for a minute before venturing to Delaware or Philly(my memory is fuzzy). anyone who knew what a map of the U.S. looks like knew this was an out of the way trip. my assumption: there were some expectations on both sides of this meeting that i didn't have privy to. i just anticipated the call after the visit was over: "GIIIIIIIRRRRRRLLLLL!!!!" yeah that call *smiles*

the afternoon of his arrival, i received a surprise call from my friend.
me: hey! soooooo
her: hey girl! what you doing later?
me: nothing really, soooooooo?
her: David wants some seafood and wants to see the beach, so we are heading to your side of town.
me: ok *i immediately knew there was more to this phone call than i expected*
her: he also wants to go dancing.
me: so you need me to point you to the right places and whatnot?
her: well....he brought his friend and he wants to meet you.
me: *silence*
her: you gotta come with us. besides i don't know your side of town.
me: *silence*
her: Tam!
me: what time do i need to be ready? (i heard her start to clap like a little kid who just figured out how to do so)
her: we'll be over to get you at 9 pm. later girl!
i stood there looking at the phone because not only had i signed up to be a fourth wheel, but it was going to be in the company of a man i had never seen or met. *le sigh* this was going to be the longest night of my life.

unfortunately when my company arrived, 1/3 of my entire family was at my mother's house. that wasn't unusual for them, but it was unusual for me to have a date, even a blind one. i'd been on a man hiatus for a minute (cut buddies don't count), so ANYONE coming over was a big deal. as my friend came through the door, she was greeted with hugs and "heeeeys". i watched carefully as a very nice looking caramel colored man slid through my mother's door. DAMN! he was nicely built, clean cut, nice smile and dressed well. i started to pray, "please be the friend, please be the friend." my prayer ended when i overheard the introductions.
"this is my friend David."
DAMN!!! my mother was just happy to see new male faces in the house. did i say it had been quite sometime since i had a date? my eyes were clinched in prayer so i did not notice the tall, slender young man that came in the door behind David. he was the friend. he wasn't unattractive but when i looked at him and then he spoke, this was what i saw. my blind date was with Kyle Barker. *le sigh* i was already ret to go and i hadn't left my house yet. my friend knew very well what i liked and Kyle wasn't it. because i'm not rude or bitchy, i put on my happy face and rolled out with my date.

the car ride was fine, small talk with no display of ignorance; add 5 points. as we arrived at the the restaurant, he opened car door and the restaurant door; add 15 points. during dinner he offered me a taste of his lobster tail. i had dinner at my mom's before they arrived, so i politely declined; but he earned an additional 20 points. after dealing with selfish momma's boys, this dude was Prince Akeem in Kyle Barker's body. i thought to myself that blind dates might be the new thing for me. i was comfortable enough with Kyle that i loosened up and that would be imperative if we were to dance together.

the club that we went to was known for their electro/techno dance music and an eclectic crowd. my Filipino co-workers turned me on to the place, but this was my first time inside. the club used to be a micro brewery and was like a large warehouse. the room was black but the random strobe/flashing lights allowed us to see the dance floor. this would be Kyle's biggest obstacle to overcome because i fancied myself a dancer. he was about 6'2" and my only expectation was a two step. we made our way to dimly light concrete octagon in the middle of the room. needless to say he surprised me and matched all my fancy footwork; gave him 50 more points. he kept up with me and we sweated together into the wee hours of the morning. Kyle kept me hydrated and even wiped my for'd (forehead for you northerners). this dude had earned an A+ for the night.

as we drove back to my momma's, i thought about how much more attractive he was to me at night's end. and that if asked, a second date would definitely go down. but he lived far away and it was just a night of fun. i never saw or heard from Kyle Barker after that weekend, even though my friend told he wanted me to spend the night with him. *OWWWWW!!!!* i guess i'd made a good impression.

Moral of the Story: Don't judge a book by its cover. That is so cliche' and we say that we don't but WE DO. And if we are not physically attracted from the start, we pump the brakes as fast as possible. Be careful, you may miss out in a prize because he looks a little more like Overton than Boris.

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1 comment:

Black Yoda said...

Woo woo wooo. Woo woo woo. :0) Seriously though, Scooter? You're lucky I wasn't the blind date. I would have done all the nice things to get those points, but I would have lost them all on the dance floor...dancing like the silhouette chick during the theme song..."true blue, we tight like glue." :0)