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02 November 2007

weighing your options


in the fall of 92, i was fortunate enough to meet a new group of beautiful young men. it was the start of new school year and a new batch of freshMEN were on campus. yes i was an older sophomore (he he) but that would work in my favor. i knew the campus, knew the professors and could help any young man if he needed assistance. yes i will admit, i was a predator and an aggressive one.

i recall sitting in front of the student union calling out new guys that i found attractive. i'm not sure where the confidence/arrogance came from, but it had taken over my psyche. i was collecting a massive amount of phone and dorm numbers for future activities. so when entertainment presented itself, i had plenty of people to call.

of course i had a few favorites: lil chocolate cutie, big b, lil yella (i know i am stealing Tan), sexy boy and dark chocolate. it was easy to entice them with my feminine wiles, but i wanted them to show interest in me first. the first fish to bite was big b. i saw him on my way to class and when i stopped to talk to him he always had this big goofy grin on his face. i loved it. he lived in a dorm near mine, so it was easy to stop by or just peek in like i was passing through. i was pretty bad back then. big b was on a football scholarship and was just my type. he was about 6'3" 265lbs and country. it was something about those country boys. anyway i was flirting my way right into his heart.

while i was flirting into big b's heart, someone was checking me out. i will refer to him as goof troop (i know y'all are laughing). well sexy boy started hanging out in my suite (common living area outside my dorm room) with my friends playing cards and just chatting us up. he eventually became a permanent fixture. a few times when he came by he brought his buddy, goof troop. from the beginning, goof troop was a little off to me. the first words he spoke were a compliment, that seemed a tad creepy.
"that's nice"
"what is nice?"
"your voice"
"uh thanks."
yes i know it sounds harmless but it was the look on his face that freaked me out. well i started to notice that goof troop was around more than sexy boy and he was always harassing me. at least it seemed like harassment to me. the straw that broke the camel's back came the night goof troop confessed his love for me. he even did that in a creepy way.

we were at one of dawn's infamous keg parties, when during a slow dance to R.Kelly's "Honey Love", goof troop decided to let me know his intentions.
"i saw you over there"
"saw me over there doing what?'
"you were dancing with that other guy."
"okay?"
"you were trying to make me jealous."
"i was?"
"you know i want to be with you."
"dude you're drunk and won't remember any of this tomorrow."
"i know what um saying."
"oooooookay."

i went home that night hoping he did not remember anything he said the next morning. unfortunately he remembered and thought there was nothing wrong with his intentions. i was mortified, i officially had a stalker. goof troop was around my dorm room night and day feigning like i was breaking his heart. because he was around, i had to make trips to see big b when i could. we went to a party and got a little cozy one night and i was starting to really like big b. all the other boys had fallen to the wayside. i only had to shake goof troop and i was home free.

but something strange happened. i started to look for goof troop and his obsessive attention. how crazy was i, falling for my stalker. we never went places together, but it started to become obvious to the outside world something was transpiring between he and i. so i had to stay up on my game with big b because he was in *heart* with me. and i liked that he was in *heart* with me. my world was great! as far as i could see or wanted to see. but there was something amiss in la la land.

big b started to act a little distant and i could not for the life of me figure out why. i was still seeing both of them and i was so arrogant that a small but important tidbit was being missed. you see big b and goof troop were both on the football team.....ooops. i guess dudes talk like girls do. needless to say things with big b fizzled as soon as they started and goof troop strung me along until he found someone more interesting.

so instead of being lovey dovey with someone, i was all alone and on the hunt again. what a sad end to great beginning.