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22 November 2015

Kim Kardashian to the rescue

anybody who knows me well, knows that i detest the entire Kardashian clan and Kim is my least favorite person. i do not spend my days trashing them on social media, i mostly ignore all that they do. i don't watch any of their shows. (i did watch a few of the Khloe & Lamar episodes cuz i actually like them as couple) i don't buy any of their products and try not to talk about them in any capacity. so i know people are confused as to why i am writing a blog about Kim. well recently Kim helped me out in a way that i never imagined.

i recently ended a situationship and i was having a very hard time dealing with all my new free time. i was starting to obsess over what happened and why it happened when my good friends gave me another outlet. she said, "you can channel all your petty into this Kim K game that i play." at first i was like naw because that would be like supporting her. but when i kept re-reading old text messages, i decided i could waste my time in a better way. so i downloaded the game to my phone and started to play bff to Kim Kardashian every day.

the way the game works is that you start off as a lowly retail employee that helps Kim during a fashion crisis and then she decides to help you become a fashion mode and icon. you get to create a character and look how you want. you can date who you want break up and get married, buy stores, condos, yachts and travel the world. you have a nemesis that you try and out do, unleash all your petty on her and laugh while doing it. i never knew this game would be so cathartic. i played so much that i really didn't notice all the times i was not talking to #oldbae.

so i have to thank Kim Kardashian for giving me a "healthier" outlet. (yes I could go to the gym too, but this was more fun) don't get me wrong she is still not my favorite person, but i don't go so hard on her because that would make me a hypocrite. but if you need something to help you kill time, this game is a pretty good distraction. hit me in the game if you to play though, i need friends to invite to my parties.

10 November 2015

I'm in Love

Sometimes you can't tell if love is real 
If love is real 
There ain't no doubt about the way I feel 
The way I feel, yeah 
I've been thinkin' bout you 
And there ain't no doubt about it, I'm in love 

i wasn't sleeping at all. i was on day number three of insomnia when i dozed off and had the dream. i do not recall what happened in the dream, but i woke up in tears. i sat in my bed and i cried for the next three hours until i had to go to work. my eyes were so swollen that i had to wear my glasses to work. i got to work, grabbed my morning coffee and cried at my desk. i called my friend and told her i was crying at work. in the 15 years that we have known one another, she had never really seen/heard me cry. she asked me what was wrong. i told her i didn't know, but i knew.

i was in love.

yeah that is not what people imagine when you tell them you are in love. but i am different.  if you have been reading my blog for a minute, you know me and feelings ain't never been friends. the goal is to suppress them as much as i possibly can. but love was not going to be pushed aside and hidden. its like love had a mind of its own and took over my heart. but my mind knew better and that is why i was crying. 

you see i was in a situationship. it was one that i signed up for and accepted. but in situationships, you might like people real good; love is normally not an option. it wasn't supposed to be a choice for me, yet here i was. what was i supposed to do with this information? Han Swolo told me that i had to tell the other person in my situationship. i didn't think that was necessary when it was obvious that he was interested in a good time not a long distance relationship. 

what the hell was going to do with this love shit?

after a few days of back and forth, i decided to share my feelings. but alas i was too late. you see while i was focused on my partner, he was focused on someone else. he went out and got himself a girlfriend. so i never told him i was in love with him. why would i do that? it would not change our dynamic. he had a real life boo and i was stuck with all this trash ass love. 

still got that bag of trash ass love sitting in the corner of my room. i want to throw it away, but i am not ready to do so. i moved it closer to the door, so maybe in a few weeks or months or something. 

yeah love sucks .... today. ask me in a few months how i feel. hopefully it will be awesome as hell...possibly maybe.