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20 January 2009

The Demon of Lust

i know the title sounds like the scripture for Sunday morning church service, but i feel the need to share with my people. i have a problem. my friends laugh at me and tell me i need help, but my problem is uncontrollably. my problem is men and my love for them. yes i have a boyfriend and love him dearly, but there are others that i can i say this.......the lust for these men is overwhelming.

the man in the above picture is Larry Fitzgerald. if you do not watch professional football, the name will not ring any bells. if you watch the NFL but are not a fan of the Arizona Cardinals, you might know him. i knew of Larry when he played college ball at the University of Pittsburgh. he was drafted and earned me a few wins during my fantasy football days. this season i had to focus on the Arizona Cardinals because my team did not make the playoffs (i still love you New England). Larry had fantastic games and he was looking kind of cute. but it was that suit he had on after the game that skyrocketed his stock through the roof (his perfect set of teeth did not hurt either). so i was hooked by Sunday night and now i have all types of pictures of this man on my computer. i am gushing every time he comes across my TV screen. i even said aloud to my boyfriend, " back in the day, i would have rented a car and drove to Tampa for the Super Bowl....wheeeeeeew "(c) Ric Flair!!! i have a problem.

this is not the first time my demon has reared its ugly head. i have successfully made my boyfriend think i would leave him for 50 cent, if the situation presented itself. c'mon y'all when am i ever going to meet that dude, NEVA EVAH!!! but i have gone one and on about his life, his movies, his TV show (that was cancelled), his baby mama and little Marquise so much that it became intimidating. since i have met celebrities in the past and had very positive interactions with them, it seems like an incident waiting to happen. but that is not the case, its just a bad case of lust. it comes and goes like a bad cold sore. if you ask my friends they can roll off names of the men i have lusted after, some well known and some very obscure.

Here are few examples:
Dwayne "The Rock" Johnson - not only is he on my desktop at home but i have seen every movie he has ever the theatre. yeah most of them have been bad, but he makes up for it with a shirtless scene here and there.

Leonard Peters - Played pro ball for a hot minute and was a standout @ University of Hawaii, he is just fine nothing else

Troy Polamalu - this gentleman plays for the Pittsburgh Steelers and is talented, ask his opponents. besides that he also is extra gorgeous.

as you can see there is a theme running with these guys, the island of Samoa. i had never seen one (a Samoan) until The Jets came on the scene. i told my boyfriend if he ever took me back to his native state of California, we might have some problems. but before the brothers get their panties in a bunch, i lust for y'all too. like Larry, i have some favorite chocolate drops. take your pick: Idris Elba, Fif, Willie McGinest, Mike Vick.

so i say all that to say......i have some good ass taste in men!!!! LOL!!!! no seriously, i feel like i was a man in my previous life and now it has carried over into this life. i have always stuck by the philosophy, "just because i am on a diet does not mean i cannot look at the menu". i am in no way pursuing these men and they do not effect my current relationship, so a little bit of lust is aiight......sometimes.

15 January 2009

the original idea

when i started this blog, i wanted to tell funny stories about the men i have been involved with over the course of my life. but the blog has evolved into something a little different. that is not a bad thing, but i wanted to bring back the original idea and reintroduce those stories to people who enjoy my blog.

so i want to give you an opportunity to get to know me the writer. so i have decided to reveal some things about my relations with men that I normally would not want people to know. for example, i stalked a guy when i was in college. i did not know i was stalking him, but he felt that way. he was brave enough to tell me when we were seniors and we laughed about it. it is one of my more embarrassing moments, but as a young girl i had no idea how to really interact with guys. so my attempt at being assertive was actually really creepy for the guy.

so get ready for stories that will make you laugh and make you think.

12 January 2009

losing faith

when i first moved to Atlanta in 2000, i was very single. i had not dated anyone seriously for about 5 yrs. i had not had sex for about 5 yrs. (please stop gasping for air) in that 5 years, i was able to get a second degree and focus on me. i made great friendships and never stayed home. i met some nice guys and had a few dates but nothing was ever too promising. i soon learned that Atlanta was the land of hit and quit it. since i wasn't letting anybody even smell it, lots of guys walked away from me despite my fabulous qualities. during that whole time, i never lost faith in the opposite sex. i met my share of creeps and some really good guys that just weren't for me. it was okay because i knew there was someone out there for me.

i had a group of girl friends that use to get together on Friday nights just to shoot the shit. of course we were all single, had complaints about men and were mostly drunk. the first 3 or 4 times we interacted, it was so much fun! but after about 7 times of hearing drunk bitches complain about the male species, i was done. not only was it just pathetic, there was no resolution for whatever issues we were having with men. i decided to try the same type of gathering with a mixed crowd. i invited my girlfriends, my gay husbands, and some nice single hetero guys to balance out the room. guess what? it was a huge success! people asked questions about the opposite sex and they actually got real answers. it was something that i wished i could have continued. it would actually be very beneficial now.

recently my girlfriends and guy friends have been having a hard time finding someone to suit them. they are all well put together, have lots going for them but just can't make that connection with anyone. they have been set up, done online dating, hit the clubs and lounges; still nothing. what hurts most is to see these people lose faith. some of the most positive, optimistic people i know turn glum when the subject of relationships comes up.

so i want advice from you guys about how to keep my friends encouraged. what did you do or what kept you optimistic about the opposite sex? i think is a dialogue that needs to be had.

06 January 2009

age is more than just a number

*i used to love this song, but i always felt it was indicative of a relationship between Arruh and Aaliyah.

the phrase "age ain't nothing but a number" has been used since the beginning of time. and in some cases i believe it to be true. for example, my mother is 11yrs older than my (step)father. and she has no problem telling everybody she meets. i have never been interested in younger men, but i have dealt with a few. of course it never worked out because the level of maturity or lack there of became an issue.

age is only a problem in relationships for me when one of the participants is significantly older than the other. like the 29 yr old female teacher in Boston who has been sleeping with a 15yr old boy for 2 years. or the 12 yr old girl who thinks there is nothing wrong with her boyfriend being 25. but this is not a time for me to get on my soapbox about statutory rape or pedophilia. i want to discuss when huge age discrepancy becomes the pink elephant in the relationship.

i want to tell you a story about a young lady who met a gorgeous young man. she was a little apprehensive because she was about 10 yrs older than him. he reassured her that it did not bother him. after a year of being together and nearing 40, she was ready to take things to the next level. well this is when age became more than just a number. he was 29 and settling down was not in his near future. so now they have a problem. he decides to move on and she can't seem to understand why things aren't working. they seemed to be on the same page, but somewhere things have gone awry. in layman's terms, there is younger fresher cooch out there for him to get into. that sounds bad doesn't it? but it is true. she refuses to believe that her age has anything to do with the crumbling of the relationship.

i just turned 35 and have no problem telling people, but folx make me feel bad about my age. someone told me that on MTV a girl said that Bow Wow was old. dayum he just turned 22 right? the majority of record execs look to the 13yr old white girls to determine what is "hot in the streets". these same execs said that De La Soul was too old to be played on MTV or BET. *smh* the 40 yr old woman that i spoke of previously thinks that rappers should stop rapping at age 25 and get a real job. really? so you are saying Jay-Z should just quit because he is too old? i say turnabout is far play. if they are too old to rap, aren't you too old to be "doing" someone under 30? according to her philosophy, she should be real and date a man her own age. *LOL* of course she will never see it that way. she is what i would call a hypocrite.

there has always been a gender bias associated with growing old. women just get older while men get sophisticated or distinguished. this is why women lie or don't reveal their age. some people really have issues with getting older, but i have always embraced it. i celebrate my birthday every year (and usually have a blast doing so). i do believe you are only as old as you act. i do go to bed earlier now, but i can still do it up in the club. i just want people to not be afraid of their age. you should enjoy and make the most of the time you have been given on this earth. one life to live people, just one.

01 January 2009

its time in '09

happy new year to everyone!!!! i spent the new year with my family in atlanta and had a quiet pleasant evening. i'm not too old to wild out on new year's eve, but i haven't been feeling it the past couple of years. but i did not write this blog to talk about my celebration. i am here to discuss what is unacceptable in 2009.

i know people have been using the "black president" reason to improve their lives and i think its a bullshit excuse; i.e. what the hell have you been waiting on. but i will not discourage anyone from improving their situation, no matter the motivation.

in 2009 there are things that should not be tolerated and i am here to give a forewarning.

1. no longer will your car cost more than you residence - the notion is just wack (yes i said wack). the range rover in the projects doesn't really impress anymore. we have seen MTV Cribs and the house is supposed to match the vehicle.

2. approaching a woman in any other way than a proper introduction is inexcusable. the days of yo,yo,yo and FEMALE are done. you can speak english (i hope), how about you utilize that skill.

3. sex without a condom. i was shocked that people were still doing it raw. but with the statistics rising for communicable diseases, seems more people than not are doing it. you can make all the excuses you want, but there is not dick or pussy worth dying over. and i don't care if he/she says "im clean, i swear". remember no glove no love.

4. please stop lying to your friends, about anything. if her ass is too big for the skirt, let her know. if his breath is tart, let him know. the age of the sugar coat is over, people need some truth in their lives. i am sick of people walking around thinking it is all lovely, while folks are laughing at them.

5. cyber beef ends NOW. do people really talk shit to each other on Myspace and Facebook? do people really send YouTube videos back and forth dissing each other? i need for you to have some personal time with some flesh and blood humans. i think new socialization will help your personal skills all around.

there will be more that i come up with after i publish the blog, but please feel free to addto the list of unacceptable actions in 2009.