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19 March 2016

I'm just Bitter

I just can't take this anymore 
You broke my heart and now I know for sure 
You're not the man I thought you was 
Compromised myself enough 
Now it's time to stop living this lie now

i realized the other day on Twitter that i am officially bitter.
i can't believe i just typed that.
i have tried my best not to be that chick, but after fighting the good fight i lost.

i remember the days that i hung out with my girlfriends from work and they would talk about how men ain't shit every Friday night. at some point, i put my foot down and stood up for the men. i told my girlfriends how they hurt my feelings talking about men like that, and how all men weren't that way. and that they need to stop with all their bitterness. i left that night and never went out with them again. mind you, i was still in my late twenties and these women had kids, had been married and divorced and one lady even had contracted Herpes from her long time boyfriend.
i hadn't really lived ... i suppose.

now i am on the other side of 40 recovering from a long term dead end relationship. been in a few sitautionships and continuously run into emotionally retarded men. and a bitch is tired. sick and tired. i can no longer give of myself without my needs being met.
so why am i bitter?
because i feel like i never got what i wanted.
the men got what they wanted from me and when i was used up, they found some other woman to suck the life out of. i was no good to them, didn't really serve any purpose. i learned the hard way when #oldbae said the most ridiculous shit to me.
him: i told her (his girlfriend) why wouldn't you want me to friends with someone who could possibly make US lots of money.
at least he admitted that he was using me in some way. funny thing is that he didn't even understand that something was wrong with that statement.

needless to say, i'm done for the time being. now all that can change if Gawd sends that tall dude with the beard I been eyeing at the gym my way. LMAO!!! just kidding ... a lil bit.
i'm about to listen to Chante' sing it one more time for me.