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24 February 2009

having ugly friends is easier

if you have been reading my blog for a minute, you know that i have this thing about men. i like them....a lot! besides that, i have always had loads of guy friends. and the majority of those men are rather attractive. my girlfriends have always pointed that out to if i didn't notice. most of the time i don't pay those guys any special attention and i have never crossed that friendship line (peep the friends and sex blog). with that said, let me get on with the storytelling.

this is a picture of Maurice. he is an attractive man with several friends, loads of them being female. well Maurice hasn't seen one of his good female friends for several years. he figured it would be nice if he invited his friend to the celebration to catch up. one of his female friends was very excited about the celebration and could not wait to see her old friend. this particular female is boo'd up, loves her significant other, and is secure in her relationship. so when she discussed visiting her old male friend she got mixed reactions. the idea did not sound so strange until people saw what Maurice looked like. she was interrogated to get more information about the relationship between her and Maurice.

have you ever been with him?
no, he is like a brother.

is he gay?

does he have a girlfriend?
not that i know of

where will you stay? (celebration is out of town)
if I go alone, probably at his house.

at this point, the female was vehemently told that she could not go and visit. when she asked the reason, her friends said "he is too good looking." WOW!!! that seemed to be the only reason and for them it was the best reason for her not to go. so if Maurice was a mudduck , the visit would have been okay to make? when asked that question they said, "yes." WOW!!!!

i have never chosen my friends based on how they look (at least not in the past 15 yrs). and i am not sure how it turned out that my guys friends were a group of hotties. its a gift and a curse. what woman do you know that wouldn't love to be surrounded by good looking men? that is why they have male revues...LOL!!!! but i have had a guy i dated trust me a little less because of my good looking associates. he said that men can't be friends with women, there is always an ulterior motive. needless to say we did not date too long, i wasn't dropping my friends for him.

sometimes i am like a proud mother, when her kids are the best at something. when people fawn over my guy friends, i sit back and smile (as if i had something to do with their dna). my friends are my friends because there was some common denominator that brought us together. and when i met most of these guys, i had caterpillars on my forehead; so looks had nothing to do with it.

i was a psychology major in college and my favorite class was social psychology. my professor taught me that people make exceptions and positive assumptions about attractive people. for example, we think they are nicer, smarter, more reliable and just all around good people. this is based solely on their level of attractiveness. she also taught us that people only associate with others that are as or more attractive than them. so i guess i can pop my collar......

but seriously, attractive friends are just that, friends. there is no hidden agenda or past secrets. my good looking male friends are like my girlfriends with penises. LOL!!!!!

14 February 2009

when a man hits a woman.......

*please note that this is my opinion. one of my friends advised me to be objective, but i can only write about what i feel.*

i have avoided commenting on the whole Chrihanna situation because they were on my list of favorite couples. so of course i am disappointed more than most. i really like them both and i hate the tornado of negative, accusatory press that is surrounding them. but this blog is not about them. its about me.

no i have never been in an abusive relationship and wish a ni**a would raise his hand to me. but i have been fighting men all my life. i have never understood what it was about me that made men want to get physical and not in a sexual way. i always chocked it up to me being a bigger woman. by the time i was 12, i was 5'7" and wearing a d cup bra. i was taller than most of the guys in my class, so i never got any love from those dudes. they always had snide remarks or were just down right mean. i am not naive and i understand when people are trying to provoke me and sometimes "the gary" came out in me (gary is my dad and that is another story).

i recall interacting with some guys in my cousin's neighborhood and things escalated unexpectedly. one young man decided to practice his comedy routine using me as the butt of his jokes. the jokes were cute and people laughed, but i was not going to just stand idle. so i made a few of my own jokes and got a bigger response. and that is when the drama began. i only remember feeling his fist hit my face and then my glasses broke. my cousin screamed and the guy just stood there looking indifferent. when my aunt saw the bruise darkening on my face and my broken glasses in hand, she was livid. when she found out that i was hit by a young man, she immediately marched me down the street to his home to speak with his mother. his mother was not too happy with her son. of course she forced him to apologized and then slapped the sh*t out him. you can say i was redeemed, but why was it so easy to haul off and hit me in the first place?

when i started high school in a different part of town, i thought things would be better. it was actually worse. i was threatened by one guy because i saw him cheating on his girlfriend. i had a teacher pull me off of another young man after he threatened me. what the hell was i doing to invoke the wrath of all these young men? i can only assume it was a little teenage angst. these were not guys that had any interest in me (that i knew), so it was not about rejection. i was pretty well liked by most people, but the black boys took more of an interest in kicking my ass.

i have never been a "delicate flower" type of woman. my mother told me i was a little rough around the edges, but that doesn't give any man the right to strike me. but in all those instances, no one ever came to my rescue. there were other guys around when the threats came and when the punches were thrown, but no one stepped in to save me. it was if they really didn't care. but if i had been that "delicate flower" female, would they have come to my rescue? if i was the cute little lady, would the reaction have been different? the problem is that it shouldn't matter. if any women is being attacked by a man, the reaction should be the same.

so when all of the Chrihanna drama took place, lots of people chimed in on the issue of domestic violence. but where was all of that rage when ordinary women were being beaten, when the lady down the street walked past with a black eye, when you saw him push her out of the car while it was moving, what did you have to say then? Kanye, what monies have you donated toward domestic violence since you were "devastated" by the incident? Jay-Z, since it should not happen to any young girl, what are you doing to prevent that? what knowledge are you imparting on the community to diminish domestic violence? *crickets* i need for people to take a stance, period. not when it only effects you or people close to you.

09 February 2009

flirting for financial gain

i have always been an advocate for the art of flirting. and flirting for financial gain is the ultimate. men across the world are cussing me out right now, but they can do it too. let me explain my point before you jump down my throat.

once upon a time, i got my brakes fixed for $150 less than the total cost because i gave out my phone number. now that may not seem like much to some, but when you only have a few dollars you take any discount you can. now following the transaction, i endured a few phone calls and scheduled a dinner date. the date never happened because the manager of Just Breaks who gave me the discount couldn't find a lie that worked with his girlfriend. (yeah that was the same thing i was thinking) i am not an advocate for gold digging, but sometimes a little bartering is okay.

for example, if the girl at the grocery store likes my boyfriend and wants to give up some groceries; as long as i get to eat..... its all good! does that seem a little pimpish to you? i mean if i can smile and get a discount on my oil change, *cheese*!!!!!! i am cutting corners and taking handouts as they come. i don't want you all to brand me an opportunist but, we are in a recession. some people do take things a little far and exchange sexual favors for money and/or material things. the only exchanging i do is with my boyfriend. besides when you do that with a significant other, its called a relationship.

i write all this to say, their is nothing wrong with using your advantages to get some deep discounts. next time we go out, me and my advantages will get us drinks. *smile*

07 February 2009

big booty complex

the young lady in this picture is Buffie the Body. she is famous because she has a big ass. she has no special talent and no special skills. story is that she started out stripping and then became a booty model. she now has her own website ( and has a workout dvd called "Booty Nomics 101". all of this because she has a big ass.

white women all across america would cry if their asses were as big as hers, but black girls are looking to buy the dvd....NOW!!! we (black girls) have a complex, a big booty complex. flat booty black girls hit the stairmaster 5 days a week to build their booty muscles. the black girls with booty want to make it tighter and even bigger. we have learned the rewards that come along with booty. some chicks get diamonds and cars for the love of ass. and some of us just want a drink in the club. either way we are obsessed with the big booty.

i remember going out with my sister and pausing and looking at my ass in the mirror. i had started working out, doing the big booty exercises and wanted to make sure it was working. i even said to myself, "my booty looks good!"

so why do i need to have that nice round "onion" booty? is it similar to the 1700's when the fatter the person, the more wealthy they were? i'm not sure that big booty girls have more money, but they do have the opportunity to get it. i bet the big booty stripper does a booty clap here, a booty shake there and she is being rained on. whereas a smaller booty chick lap dances for 20 minutes to get 5 dollars. but i think i know the real reason why black girls want big booties.

big booty girls have more choices. black girls want the big booties, but dudes REALLY want the big booty. big booty girls have a variety of men to select from. the majority of men are ass men, so every type of guy will hit on a big booty girl. the baller, the broke dude, the geek, the frat boy, the old dude, everybody!!!!! who doesn't want a chance to choose? hell, how do you weed out who is good or bad if you have no selection? if big booty increases the pool, work the big booty!!!
so, ladies get your squats on and buy your Booty Nomics video today!!!

*this in no way is meant to offend those women with less cakes than others