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21 August 2011

Ooooooh and I Like it....

I've been thinkin'
'bout you for quite a while
You're on my mind everyday and every night
My every thought is you, the things you do
Seems so satisfying to me,
I must confess it, girl

besides me loving this song a great deal, like every other black person over the age of 30; i can relate to the sentiment expressed in the lyrics. i am pretty sure that i have an addictive personality. most people who develop addictive personalities are predisposed to this type of disorder. please understand this is a self diagnosis, no professional has prescribed me any mind altering drugs (even though that doesn't seem like a bad idea); i'm just fleshing out some ideas to explain my demeanor. my dad used to drink heavily and smoke just as often. my older sister, with whom i share my father's bloodline, has also had some addiction issues. so to say that i may be predisposed to an addictive personality may not be far fetched. i don't smoke, never done any drugs, but i do like my liquor. i hardly drink like i did in college; losing chunks of time was not the move, so i slowed down. because i was aware of what my DNA possibly possessed, i focused on other things, like relationships and people. thus the notion my mother had of me "changing men like i changed my drawls."

my grandma deemed me boy crazy by 9 and my Humpday Hottie ritual Wednesdays on Twitter lets you know nothing about my grandma's declaration has changed. i was never one to have long relationships with men, but i figured it had more to do with my zodiac sign than any sort of addiction. but as i read about addictive personalities, i had to rethink my behaviors. here is some of the information that reminded me of me:
  1. addictive individuals feel highly insecure when it comes to relationships.
  2. may often find it difficult to make commitments in relationships or trust their beloved because of the difficulty they find in achieving long-term goals.
  3. people suffering from addictive personality disorder usually undergo depression and anxiety, managing their emotions by developing addiction to alcohol, other types of drugs, or other pleasurable activities.
so let's combine the nomadic nature of a Sagittarius, the high level of insecurity in relationships, and the love of *cough* pleasurable activities. what you have is a recipe for disaster. how could i possibly maintain a stable, healthy situation with all of this going on? they say knowing is half the battle, but for me it may take a little professional help. again this is me just typing out loud, but think about these things for a moment.
  • when i like something i REALLY like it. i used to go and sit in my ex's house before he went to work, just to be around him. that may sound cute, but sometimes it would be for 15 minutes and he lived 20 minutes away. O_o but I liked him so much, shame he did not feel the same.
  • in my past relationships, because of my insecurities i have caused things to go horribly wrong. doubting the person that i am and thinking there is no way that someone could dig me this much. i'm not extraordinary in any way.
  • pleasurable activities: drinking alone in my home, drinking out with my friends, surfing the internet for hours, drinking while you see a pattern?
most of my blogs have a lesson or some funny story, but this one was my a-ha moment. i have always been an open book, so why change that now. i hope you enjoyed my psychological analysis of self.

13 August 2011

Flirt Smarter Not Harder - The HANDS

You use them every day. At work, in the home, in ordinary activities; what would a lady do without her hands? They are adorned with colorful polish and rings of different sizes, but are you using them correctly when you interact with that guy you like so much? Here is how you make your hands work for you.
The Rub Down: This is not a massage technique but it is a way to determine what is going on under guys’ clothes without taking them off. It seems a tad risqué but it will never fail you. For this to work correctly ladies, you must be in close proximity of the man of interest. You may be standing next to him or sitting near him, but nothing should be obstructing your reach. As you are speaking with this young man, reach out and touch him. It may be a hand on his thigh or just a gentle rub. Do not leave your hand there, but just brush across him. If you are standing near him, do the same thing to the front of his shirt. You can feel his chest, see what it is he is working with. Most men will not notice nor will they mind you touching them, just don’t overdo it. Ladies you want to flirt, not grope the man in public. (Save that for later)
The Inanimate Object Touch: One of the oldest tricks in the book, but also one of the most reliable. Find something on the table or on the bar where you are talking with your man of interest and start to touch the inanimate object. An obvious choice would be the rim of the glass that contains your drink or the straw that you are sipping from. Similar to the touch with your hand, just use a finger to run up and down the glass or the straw. I promise that his focus will shift or you will at least cause a slight distraction.
I know these little actions seem silly, I promise the results will be large and possibly in great number. Happy Flirting!!

05 August 2011

Flirt Smarter Not Harder - The FEET

Flirting to most women consists of usage of their eyes and mouths. A woman may look at an attractive man and smile to spark his interest. She may see him across a room and stare a little longer than normal to let him know she wants him to approach. But ladies there are several more ways to flirt than the regular old coy stare or smile. Over the years, I’ve mastered the art of flirting; having studied at the hand of my mother and excelling in courses of human behavior and group dynamics. To help you learn to flirt smarter, not harder; I have a few tips to vamp it up.

Using your feet to flirt with men may seem simple but it requires a few must haves to make it go over smoothly.
A nice fresh pedicure is necessary.
2. Very bright, lively toe nail polish is a great accessory.
3. High heels shoes that are to die for. Not only do they make your calves look great, but they are decorations for your feet.

Ladies, if these three items are in your possession, you are now ready for the lesson. This level of flirting is about graceful movement and placement. When sitting down, feet are normally hidden underneath the table. Or perhaps you cross your legs at the ankle, leaving your feet tucked under your seat. This is no time to be modest. Ladies, lean back in your seat, cross your legs in front and show off your feet. The foot is the prelude to a possible covered leg. If the foot is pretty, a man will wonder what the leg looks like.

If you are standing, place one foot in front of the other, as if you were using your foot to point at something or someone. Depending on the brightness of the polish or the fantastic-ness of the shoe, men’s eyes will be drawn down to look at your feet. This is not just a feat that works on men with foot fetishes, but all men. I have been doing it for years and it is a sure fire hit.