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17 April 2016

It's all fun and games

"I was just playing"

i want you guys to stop saying this shit. because most times you are NOT playing. you made a statement and did not get the response that you wanted. or you did not get the response you expected. so as a way to hide your disappointment or upset, you make the statement...
"I was just playing."
oh okay.
that will always be my response when that is said to me.

i am confused as to why people shrink or recoil from the conversation and chose this statement to replace their real feelings. unless you want to piss people off, then by all means move forward with your fuckery.

recently i have noticed that lots of my conversations have stopped short when someone is about to say something that might sound like a feeling or an emotional statement. i know people have to be comfortable with you to be vulnerable and reveal their true self. so maybe the people that i am sharing with really cannot reciprocate in that manner. is that going to make me stop sharing? no, but i may no longer share with those people who do not communicate well.

and no i am not the best communicator, but i am trying to be better. that is why i am trusting my feelings with people that i want to learn and grow with, so maybe this is more about finding people who are on my level emotionally and not the emotionally retarded. because that is a real thing. i am glad i wrote this because i have been able to process what i am currently going through.

i say all of this to say, do better. and stop "playing" with people. say that shit with your chest moving forward.