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16 April 2009

we know within 20 seconds.......

i heard a while ago that a man knows if a woman is "the one" after 6 months. i always thought it to be an old wives tale, until i actually asked a guy who dumped me. i had not heard from him in about 51/2 months (since the dumping) and he called me out of the blue.
Crazy Nupe: Hey girl!
me: hey
Crazy Nupe: How you been?
me: fine, how is your girlfriend?
Crazy Nupe: She is aiight.
me: will i be getting an invitation soon?
Crazy Nupe: Naw, nothing like that.
me: well they say a man knows after 6 months. hasn't been about 6 months or more for y'all?
Crazy Nupe: That is true. A man does know at 6 months.
me: so your girlfriend is getting the ring?
Crazy Nupe: Aww naw. That is not happening.
me: but its been about 6 months?
Crazy Nupe: Yeah and that is why I'm calling you.
me: *crickets*
with women it is a little different. we know within 20 seconds. no, we don't know if we will marry you. but we do know if we will have sex with you.

i can personally see a man on the street, look at him without having spoken a word to him and know if i would have sex with him. if a woman has a general idea of what she is physically attracted to in a man, its an easy 20 second thought process. she looks, she contemplates and she decides. several guys i know could get it, based solely on attractiveness. its when they start talking that the problems happen, but that is a whole 'nother blog.

in my many years of retail work, i have had the pleasure of scoping out hundreds of men; some very good looking, some average looking, and some monsters. as each one walked through the door, i knew if i would or if i wouldn't do it to them. i know men are saying that it is just me, but ask your sister, female friend or your girl. if they say no, they are lying to keep their purity in tact for you.

this quick decision making can explain the times you saw a good looking girl and thought to yourself, "she slept with him?" i have been victim to the quick decision making with your eyes. and now those men are known as the "brothers who took the class but got no credit". it is not the most rational way to decide and please note that it takes us longer to decide on some men (y'all have to wear us down), but 90% of the time we know immediately.

Ladies, what do you think??

7 comments:

thehoustongirl said...

I agree! females can look at a dude and can tell if she'd hit it or not.

LMAO @ "when they start talking" ohhh that gets me everytime too! So damn cute but so damn STUPID! *sigh* I mean can I get the whole package? maybe not in 2009 lol

its either that or they have some serious 'baggage'. I know the kids can't help if they're here but DAYUM does damn near everyone have children? I'm only 25 and they look at me all wild eyed because I don't have children. Ummm maybe because I was being RESPONSIBLE and not just doing "the grown up" all nilly willy

good to see you posting again :D

-thehoustongirl

Curvy Jones said...

Takes me a lot longer, but I'm ultra conscious and conservative. Six months though sounds about right, especially if you're both adults and know what you want. It shouldn't take 2 years to decide if he cares for me enough to want to make a commitment.

a black girl who did date said...

@Curvy Jones I agree with you. I know in 20 secs but its gonna be a while before it actually happens. And then sometimes there is spur of the moment stuff. But I definitely would not build a relationship from my 20 sec attraction meter.

Black Yoda said...

I'm not a lady, but I'd like to add my 2 cents. This rings true to me. Men know almost instantly if we'd hit. 20 seconds is an eternity to us. Maybe that last line isn't the best choice of words given the subject matter :-) For us, I think we instantly put each girl we see into one of two columns: "hit" or "no hit". If she's borderline, then she goes into the "hit" column. It's a very simplistic yet effective system. Different guys have different standards. For some, if she is genetically female, she goes into the hit column. Fortunately,some of us require more than that.

Kryssy said...

WOW...I had no idea about the 6 mth thing. That's good to know. lol.
As far as the female aspect, it takes me longer to determine a man's "screwability." Yes, back in the day, it would take 20 secs... but now that I put more weight on personality/intelligence, etc... I dont make that decision for a while...

Stefanie said...

My ex, coincidentally also a Nupe lol... is dating a girl, they actually moved in together and I asked him if he is ready to get married and he says no. I'm like wtf?!? They have been dating for well over a year now, she went outside of her comfort zone and also against her beliefs and is "shacking up" with him and this negroe still has the nerve to not want to marry her. He claims there are some compatibility issues that he's unsure of. I'm like, why didn't you tell her that before you allowed her to do all of that sacrificing?!?! I don't know what is wrong with some men, I guess it's good that he is my ex lmbo!

Inside Out said...

so true! girls can tell so quickly from body language to the way he talks to the way he dresses.

PS: i have a friend with that "i'd hit that" shirt