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29 June 2017

Fooled Around and Fell in Love

i haven't written in a while but i just heard a tune that reminded me of a story. so i am here to share with you guys. this is a tale of how i fooled around and fell in love.

when i encountered #oldbay i was still living with my ex. my ex and i had been sleeping in separate rooms and had not been intimate in quite some time. i stumbled across #oldbay on Twitter. i feel like his picture popped up on my timeline, but he followed me one day and i followed back. after a few weeks of banter, the DM's started coming in quite frequently. then the number exchange, then we started talking on the phone. now when we started talking on the phone it was different than other times i had communicated with guys. we would literally be on the phone for six or more hours ... A DAY. yes you read that correctly, every day we spoke that long and that often. i should have slowed myself down and listened to my friends about the situation.

friends: so what are you doing?
me: i'm chilling.
friends: you are?
me: yeah, we just having conversations.
friends: but you don't see yourself.
me: what you mean?
friends: the big ass smiles and all the damn giggling.
me: he is just funny.

i sounded like a damn idiot. but i keep it up and days turned to weeks which became months of non stop "talking". i had convinced myself that was all innocent until that fateful evening when he dropped a bomb on me.

him: you know that is why i love you because blah blah blah blah
*my ears stopped working after "i love you" thus the blah blah blah
me: wait, what did you just say?
him: THE REASON I LOVE YOU IS BECAUSE blah blah blah
he gave me a laundry list of reasons why he loved me. and i didn't know how to respond because this was not on my agenda. even though i already knew that i loved him, i just kept it to myself.
me: i love you too.

i hung up the phone and sat in my car for thirty minutes trying to process. i done fooled around and fell in love. SHIT! i had to call my homie.

me: girl, he said he loved me.
homie: BITCH WHAT?
homie: what you gone do?
me: hell if I know.

i took the advice of the O'Jay's and jumped aboard the Love Train. and it was a beautiful thing. i was my most creative and innovative during those times. i reminisce and have so many positive memories of #oldbay and i. but then the ugly thoughts creep in and i have to refocus on the new single (again) me and my next moves. i did ride that Love Train for about two years before it went off the rails and landed in a river of drama. maybe one day i will tell the story of how i blocked #oldbay from existence.