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12 August 2008

He was my Cuddle Jawn before I knew the meaning

first i must offer up a disclaimer: these stories have no type of sequence. something reminds me of a time and situation, so i write about it.

yesterday while talking to my boyfriend, i repeated a phrase i used in college and it made me think about this guy i used to know. we will call him Mr. Burns to protect the innocent. the nickname is appropriate because most people felt he resembled Homer Simpson's boss. thus i stick with what i know.

when i was a junior in college, i moved off campus with 2 of my "friends", but most of my homies still lived on campus. whenever i had time in between classes or after my shift at the dining hall, i was in the dorm. i was convinced that my homies had picked this particular dorm because all of the football and basketball players lived there. of course that was not a problem for me, i love a little eye candy every now and then. at that time, i was single; very single. i had been single at that point for a year or so. i had plenty of guys that i liked to flirt with, i even had specific guys that i slow danced with at parties, but no real boyfriend prospects. i'm not even sure i was looking for a boyfriend, but i did want a nice body to sleep with.

being close to a man was the thing i missed most about my previous relationship. we could just lay together for hours and have the best time. and no there was no sex (well at that point there wasn't). so i had an idea of what i wanted from a guy, but how many of them would allow me that comfort without wanting something in return. enter Mr.Burns.

Mr. Burns and i were cool and shared a few laughs here and there. i didn't know much about him and he only knew what he heard from others about me. i am still not sure what my reputation was with the fellas, but i didn't really care; i was having a good time in college. it strangely worked out that my homies had a room across the hall from Mr. Burns and his roommate Dairy King. i would see them in the hall and wave but no more than that. Mr. Burns and i had spoken outside of the dorm but the conversation was never in depth. one day i was supposed to meet the homies at the dorm but i was a little early. i found myself in the hallway pacing when Mr. Burns opened his door.

"hey Mr. Burns" (no i did not call him that)
"hey girl. what u doing?"
"waiting on homie 1 and 2."
"you want to come in here and wait?'

hmmmmm, should i or shouldn't i? Mr. Burns had this mischievous look on his face and i was very aware of it. but something made me want to go inside.

"i'on know about that."
"i won't bite. i promise."

so i voluntarily stepped into the lion's den, the little lamb i was. i have to explain that even though he looked like Mr. Burns in the face, the rest of him looked like this. so you have an idea of the temptation that was creeping up inside me. when he opened the door he was wearing a tank top and shorts....lawdamercy!!!!!!

i sat down at his desk and we started chatting about our hometowns, school, people we knew. it wasn't long before i lost track of time and realized that i was now running late. i thanked him for his hospitality and went on my way. the homies noticed me coming out of his room and had all sorts of questions, but there was really nothing to tell.

as i frequented the dorm more often, i started stopping over at Mr. Burns room to say wassup. we had become cordial to the point that I would hang out when i couldn't find the homies. i was so comfortable that i moved from the desk to the bed, from a sitting position to a lying position with my shoes off. i didn't feel like i was in any danger because Mr. Burns was a complete gentleman. and then it happened one day. when i laid down, he laid down beside me. not in a "i'm pushing up on you" way, but in a "i'm comfortable with you" way. it was very nice for a moment until Orange Julius walked in. he was shocked and so were my homies. you see when Orange Julius came back he held the door open long enough for my homies to see what the commotion was about. i wasn't shamed, i just didn't want the world to say it was more than it was.

Mr. Burns was a perfect cuddle jawn. and he never wanted more (his roommate was a different story altogether). but Mr. Burns never got a fair break because he looked like Mr. Burns. i was wrong for it and sometimes think if i overlooked the grill what might have happened.


Synner 6 said...

Im sorry...that body could get it...that Mr. Burns grill, hell and no LOL

Anonymous said...

I am the same way when it comes to teeth. I miss those innocent moments.

suga said...

Poor Mr. Burns. And poor you, having to deal with a man with a body like a God, but a face from hell. lol

Just kidding but it does sound like such a waste. Good thing Mr. Burns was a gentleman though.

Anonymous said...

Your blog keeps getting better and better! Your older articles are not as good as newer ones you have a lot more creativity and originality now. Keep it up!
And according to this article, I totally agree with your opinion, but only this time! :)