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29 August 2008

Play or Be Played

i have never read the above book, but i think that i should give it out as a Christmas gift to all of my girls, single and otherwise. the first time i saw Tariq Nasheed was on some daytime talk show similar to Ricki Lake or the sort and he disgusted me totally. he was talking about the silly things that women do and spoke of what men really wanted. there was nothing but truth in what this man said but i was not ready to hear what he had to say.

instead of listening to what Tariq had to say, i went on my own journey to find out about men. shortly after my completion of college, i was able to reacquaint with one of my childhood friends. we grew up in the same neighborhood and had all the same friends coming up. once he started dating my best childhood friend, we drifted apart. she wanted all his attention on her, hell she wanted everbody's attention. needless to say, we lost touch. when i moved back in with my parents, i found that his mom had moved and left him and his older brother the place. i knew they were living the life. toss in his best friend and you've got a party in the making.

i stumbled up on the den of debauchery (my new favorite word) by accident. i was driving by and i saw loads of cars with cute boys in them and i wanted in. so i slowed down and "holla'd" at my old friend.
" are you having a party or something?"
"naw just some of my people over and we're grilling out."
"sounds like fun."
"if you aren't busy, you should come over."
that was all i needed to drive home, run in and change and run the 50 feet back to his front door. yes ladies and germs, he was my next door neighbor. after that day, i was a permanent fixture on the couch. my parents knew that if my car was in the driveway and i was not at home, i was next door. they never had a problem with it because they had no clue what was going on inside.

at the D of D, i learned how men operate. it was like Tariq Nasheed's book but in live action. i would sit and listen to the repeated lies they told women because i wanted to know when i was being lied to. the guys never held back around me but were also very protective of me. when i attempted to get with one of them, i was schooled immediately.
"that nigga is crazy."
"like for real punch holes in walls crazy."
they became my war council. i would come to them with stories, take there advice and prepare for battle with the dude i was dating. i know it was an unfair advantage, but i used it. they all had different qualities that contributed to my "education". For example, Stallion(wow) taught me not to date baby mama haters(please see an earlier blog) and Cutie Shorty illustrated to me what i did not want in a husband. the lessons were all around me and i loved it.

in an effort to spread the good knowledge, i invited my homie over to the D of D. she came in with her own agenda. she scoped out the meat (guys) and decided which one she wanted to engage. the entire point of her visit was missed. most her time that evening was spent flirting and giggling over her drink. needless to say, she was never allowed in the D of D again. i was unable to make my fellow females appreciate the importance of male comradery. even exposure to the environment proved to be ineffective.

even though i have lost contact with most of the my boys from the D of D, i have acquired plenty more male friends. and that is my suggestion to my female counterparts, acquisition. not gay male friends, but hetero male friends that are not interested in you. i know you are so fly that every man wants you, but that one man that doesn't is the one you make your friend. his advice will be the best that you get. and no the dude that was your old cutty buddy doesn't count. his goal will always be to get some more, so his advice will be a little slanted. once you have that male friend, use him like wikipedia and learn.


Anonymous said...

I don't give females advice about their men...only criticism. I don't care if dude performs free operations for orphans in "third-world" countries. Your boy here will find the flaw or weakness. You know the old saying, "If you don't have something nice to say...." Well, it's the opposite with me.:-) Why would I do this? I don't believe in helping no other man get what belongs to me...even if it doesn't belong to me:-) You better go to Jason Kidd if you want an assist. Yeah, I don't know what's wrong with me either.

Dee Em said...

Wow, to the comment listed below.

I've had male friends, and you are right, who have given me some very priceless information when it comes to men. But more than that, this go 'round I have that with my boyfriend.

We were childhood friends and now that we are dating that friendship hasn't been lost. There are times when I say, "I need my friend right now, not the man who loves me," and I will go on to tell him what has happened and he will give me real male to female advice. However, sometimes the boyfriend crosses with the friend.

He's real with his intentions with me and why he does the some of the ish that he does...although most of his reasoning stems from, "I have the d!ck so that makes me right." LMAO.

Mahoganydymond™ said...

Most of my friends are males that have no interest in me. I grew up with mostly male family members. You are right they will protect you and tell you like it is. I didn't listen to them much growing up. I sure to take heed to their advice now.

suga said...

I have 2 very close male friends who give the best advice ever. I mean, why go to a woman anyway? Men know how men think while women THINK they know how men think lol

I love my girls, but when it comes to relationship advice, I gotta hit up the male homies.

Great blog!!