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19 June 2008

ain't nuthin wrong with a lil flirting

i have no shame. i like men. the phase that little girls go through when they hate little boys, i never went through that. i always liked boys. my grandmother told me that men would be my downfall in life because they were all i ever talked about. and this was waaaaay before i had even seen my first penis. my mother used say, "you change men like you change your drawls." i don't think i was that bad, i just had a few crushes. most of those crushes went unspoken. i used to be fearful of conversations with men but then i learned the art of flirting.

i am not sure if i picked up by watching my mother (because she is darn good at it) or i just have a natural ability. i can talk to anyone about anything but around men i found attractive, i was so self conscious that i could barely muster a hello. i think something changed when i got to college.

at JMU, the minority population was not large but it was large enough. and i had never been around (what I thought to be) that many good looking men in my life. my first big crush was Walter. he was a grad student who was also a DJ at the one club in town and former boyfriend of the now Mrs. Emmit Smith. my now best friend knew Walter because he was friend's with her brother. because of the 2 degrees of separation, Walter was very aware of my crush. and when he took the opportunity to talk to me, i blushed and ran away. he thought it was so cute. he asked me to come and sit with him and talk one day and i ran out the building door. needless to say, nothing ever came of my crush and i did eventually speak to him.

i knew i was never going to get a boyfriend or at least have sex at that rate, so i needed to step my game up. thus began my habit of people watching. i started to notice the girls that all the guys liked, focused on the interactions. little did i know, i was learning the art of flirting. i began to use it in my everyday life and create new ways to flirt. by the time i was a senior in college, i was teaching other girls how to do it. since then my skills have gotten me free drinks (of course), discounted oil changes and brake jobs ($200 less no doubt) and a slew of admirers.

i tell you all of that to say, i thought i had lost my ability to flirt. i have been dating the same man for 5+ years and i don't have to flirt with him. but last week i found myself in a situation that was unfamiliar to me. one female and 4 men in an elevator. the ride was short, but i had not had that many attractive men pay that much attention to me since i tried on the whole JMU football team (just jokes...kinda). at first i was flustered, but after a flutter of my eyelashes (Thanks Rimmel of London) it was all good.

so, i still got it! flirting is a useful tool, it makes you more approachable. besides we are in a recession, don't you need a discount on something? maybe i should use my abilities to get free gas or a grocery discount or something.