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06 January 2009

age is more than just a number

*i used to love this song, but i always felt it was indicative of a relationship between Arruh and Aaliyah.

the phrase "age ain't nothing but a number" has been used since the beginning of time. and in some cases i believe it to be true. for example, my mother is 11yrs older than my (step)father. and she has no problem telling everybody she meets. i have never been interested in younger men, but i have dealt with a few. of course it never worked out because the level of maturity or lack there of became an issue.

age is only a problem in relationships for me when one of the participants is significantly older than the other. like the 29 yr old female teacher in Boston who has been sleeping with a 15yr old boy for 2 years. or the 12 yr old girl who thinks there is nothing wrong with her boyfriend being 25. but this is not a time for me to get on my soapbox about statutory rape or pedophilia. i want to discuss when huge age discrepancy becomes the pink elephant in the relationship.

i want to tell you a story about a young lady who met a gorgeous young man. she was a little apprehensive because she was about 10 yrs older than him. he reassured her that it did not bother him. after a year of being together and nearing 40, she was ready to take things to the next level. well this is when age became more than just a number. he was 29 and settling down was not in his near future. so now they have a problem. he decides to move on and she can't seem to understand why things aren't working. they seemed to be on the same page, but somewhere things have gone awry. in layman's terms, there is younger fresher cooch out there for him to get into. that sounds bad doesn't it? but it is true. she refuses to believe that her age has anything to do with the crumbling of the relationship.

i just turned 35 and have no problem telling people, but folx make me feel bad about my age. someone told me that on MTV a girl said that Bow Wow was old. dayum he just turned 22 right? the majority of record execs look to the 13yr old white girls to determine what is "hot in the streets". these same execs said that De La Soul was too old to be played on MTV or BET. *smh* the 40 yr old woman that i spoke of previously thinks that rappers should stop rapping at age 25 and get a real job. really? so you are saying Jay-Z should just quit because he is too old? i say turnabout is far play. if they are too old to rap, aren't you too old to be "doing" someone under 30? according to her philosophy, she should be real and date a man her own age. *LOL* of course she will never see it that way. she is what i would call a hypocrite.

there has always been a gender bias associated with growing old. women just get older while men get sophisticated or distinguished. this is why women lie or don't reveal their age. some people really have issues with getting older, but i have always embraced it. i celebrate my birthday every year (and usually have a blast doing so). i do believe you are only as old as you act. i do go to bed earlier now, but i can still do it up in the club. i just want people to not be afraid of their age. you should enjoy and make the most of the time you have been given on this earth. one life to live people, just one.


AssertiveWit said...

where was this damn blog when I was feeling sorry for myself for turning 29 dammit? LOL

Eb the Celeb said...

Age means a lot to me too because my mom had me so young. She had me when she was 17 so if I date too much older than me than they could damn near date my mom... I usually have a 5 year over, 3 year under rule... but now I' just like things to be rounded out. I'm 27 so I'll date 25-35; any younger and you act like your still in college and any older and you can date my mom

Anonymous said...

Well I'm 52 and have no shame in my age. I am very proud to have lasted this long (especially with some of the stuff I use to pull) and I will never cover a single gray hair on my head. I earned every damn one of them.