Ads 468x60px

twitterfacebookgoogle pluslinkedinrss feedemail

19 June 2011

Three is the magic number....

since i was a child, i have had this obsession with the number three. most of my favorite athletes wore the number 3 or a number that could be divided by three (i.e. Alonzo Mourning, Allen Iverson, Vince Carter). three feet high and rising by De La Soul is one of my favorite albums of ALL TIME. its no coincidence that the number three is in the title. i only wear three rings on my hands and i have to use the third stall in the restroom or the 6th or the 9th, you get the picture. now that you know i'm a complete weirdo, it shouldn't be a shock that i believe dating can be summed up in three simple tenets. they are as follows:

1. you like him/her
2. him/her likes you
3. you and this person should spend time together

these rules are simple enough, but we jack it up every time. some of us lack confidence, some of us have baggage from previous situations, some of us are just clueless about the opposite sex. hopefully my tutorial of simple actions for my three simple dating rules will make for better outcomes.

1. you like him/her - that is it: you dig this person a little and want to get to know him/her better. conversations are imperative to your fact finding mission, because this is what the first rule is all about. you need to learn likes and dislikes, causes they support, political views, religious beliefs, kids or no kids, gay or straight...yeah ask that question. beware of the decepticons* who are not really interested in you, but like good convo. don't start making hearts with both names in your journal or testing what his last name looks like after yours. stop planning your future with the man/woman you met 20 minutes ago at the bus stop/Whole Foods/neo-bohemian record store (i didn't say club because you can't take those people serious). at this point, you only know this person smelled good, looked nice and was receptive to your conversation. get to know the person, first impressions can do wonders but there may be a few deal breakers that you only find out from playing 20 questions.

2. he/she likes you - the most assured way to know that they dig you is for them to SAY SO. don't make assumptions, don't interpret actions, and don't ask other people. the second rule requires a little bit of bravery. see you are going to have to put it out there, yes you are going to have to say how you feel FIRST. i know rejection sucks and no one wants to get their feelings hurt, but why waste unnecessary time trying to get at somebody who has put you in the friend zone or is looking for a cooch/peen in a glass (break in case of emergency). yeah i know in an earlier blog i said i don't do that, but sometimes you gotta woman/man up and tell dude/chick.
"i tell you what, i likes you and i wants you." *see The Boondocks Booty Warrior episode*
when you put it out there and they say yeah i dig you too, then we move on to the final rule.

3. you & this person should spend time together
this is when you determine if there is true compatibility. a lot of people have sex with folks they don't like. yeah the sexual chemistry is off the chain, but could you sit down in a public place and have in depth conversation about why Jeezy is better than Waka Flaka? yes you made small talk about what they like and don't like but was that the representative speaking? when you decide to spend time together make sure it is a fun environment that requires some interaction, a little bit of touching and allows for conversation. so no movie dates...sitting in the dark for two hours gets you no where. no dinner at his/her home...that is not a date stop trying to make it one. trying bowling, test his/her competitive spirit. go to an art museum, test their cultural knowledge or teach them about the art/artist. make sure you show a little bit of who you are when setting up the date. be creative when you go out with the person you like. you want to spend more time with them so a boring date is a nay no my damie.

this blog is a mere skeleton of an outline of what people can do to start the dating process on the right foot. because i'm obsessed with the number three, i will not increase the number of rules i use. but what would you add to your list? what am I missing? there is always room for improvement, but know that i would have to add three more rules for it to work for me. LMAO!!!

*decepticons are not just Transformers but good looking people who like to hang out with you but are "the ghey".


Black Yoda said...

Three is a favorite number of mine too. Of course, it for an obvious reason you've conveniently left out. Don't go all Jim Carey (The Number 23) on us. People in my profession are known for being obsessive when it comes to numbers. I like your points. I think the burden typically falls on the guy to initiate so women don't have to show any courage at all if they don't want to. I think it would be good for everyone to take some risks from time to time just so you know how it feels. It would make everyone more empathetic and that would be a good thing because I've seen some brothers go down in flames. I mean bad like...I felt like the army buddy faced with the decision of putting a fellow soldier who's been mortally wounded out of his misery. It was like that scene out of Dead Presidents.

I like how you mentioned an art museum as an option. Given your line of work, I know why you chose that. Still trying to maintain some advantage and control. Nah, you got to take a risk too. You probably got bowling trophies in your closet from the championship games that were on ESPN. No bowling. No art. You not going to embarrass me on a first date. We doing something else. Let's move completely away from your suggestions. How about a game of strip Chess and a trip to the petting zoo. :0)

a black girl who did date said...

I promise not to go all Jim Carey on you. It has been all about the threes since I was a child, so of course it carried over into my adulthood. I would like women to express themselves a little better and not let men throw themselves on the grenade all the time. No I have no bowling trophies, but you got me on the art thing. But they have free food and liquor at most gallery openings, did you not know that?

Black Yoda said...

Free food and liquor is always a good thing. Top it off with a walk at the park and that's damn near a free date. Date number 2 will be at Kroger's...scratch that...let's go upscale...Whole Foods or Trader Joes. We can walk around tasting samples of cheese and enjoying the ambiance. If that's not your thing, we can walk around the food court at the mall taking our fill of free samples of bourbon chicken from the various Chinese food spots. After that, we can go to Movie on the Green. Hopefully, there won't be any shootings during the showing of "Jumping the Broom" or "Madea's Big Happy Family." After that, I make my move. Playa for real.

a black girl who did date said...

You are so creative and sarcastic at the same time....LOL!!! Just imagine no real monetary investment has been made, so no argument of who should pay. I wonder if the closing reception this Friday will have food & liquor.