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19 October 2013

Look at what I found

as i was entertaining a 4 year old today, i discovered a story i wrote a few years ago. it is not only a testimony about my relationships with men but one of the reasons i started this blog. this very short story did happen just as it was written.
                             

I sat at the island of the very large Lysol/Clorox cleaned kitchen. The room was not necessarily large, but bigger than the kitchen at my home. He sat across from me smiling and I deflected his attention by talking to my best friend. Then it happened.

"Here"
"What is that?"
"It's my class ring"
"What do you want me to do with it?"
"What if I told you I wanted you to wear it?"
"I would tell you stop joking."
I slid the ring back across the island.
My best friend bewildered at the conversation and even more confused by my response, nudged me with her elbow.
"Okay, you can't say I didn't try."
"You are such a jokester."

I left shortly after that interaction and never thought on that moment again. There was no possible way that the milk chocolate Casanova of Hampton University was interested in a fat, frumpy, bushy eyebrowed girl from JMU. Things like that didn't happen to me.

My best friend always said I underestimated how men felt about me, but I always placed myself in the friend zone. It was easier if I was a friend because there was no disappointment if the feelings weren't  reciprocated.

"You know ...... wife is such a nice girl."
"Well he is a nice guy. I hate that I have not met her yet."
"It could have been you."
"Excuse me?"
"I think that if you'd told him how you really felt, he would have never married her."
"Well I didn't. Besides when I had the balls to do it, they were engaged. So I will keep that secret to myself."

That was the story of my life thus far, the "what if". I was on a boat with no navigation in the ocean of dating. This cycle was getting redundant and I wanted to start a new one.

1 comment:

Kenya Mack said...

*sigh*

I am all too familiar with placing myself in the "friend zone" unintentionally. We sleep on ourselves more than others do most times, I tell ya.