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19 October 2013

Look at what I found

as i was entertaining a 4 year old today, i discovered a story i wrote a few years ago. it is not only a testimony about my relationships with men but one of the reasons i started this blog. this very short story did happen just as it was written.

I sat at the island of the very large Lysol/Clorox cleaned kitchen. The room was not necessarily large, but bigger than the kitchen at my home. He sat across from me smiling and I deflected his attention by talking to my best friend. Then it happened.

"What is that?"
"It's my class ring"
"What do you want me to do with it?"
"What if I told you I wanted you to wear it?"
"I would tell you stop joking."
I slid the ring back across the island.
My best friend bewildered at the conversation and even more confused by my response, nudged me with her elbow.
"Okay, you can't say I didn't try."
"You are such a jokester."

I left shortly after that interaction and never thought on that moment again. There was no possible way that the milk chocolate Casanova of Hampton University was interested in a fat, frumpy, bushy eyebrowed girl from JMU. Things like that didn't happen to me.

My best friend always said I underestimated how men felt about me, but I always placed myself in the friend zone. It was easier if I was a friend because there was no disappointment if the feelings weren't  reciprocated.

"You know ...... wife is such a nice girl."
"Well he is a nice guy. I hate that I have not met her yet."
"It could have been you."
"Excuse me?"
"I think that if you'd told him how you really felt, he would have never married her."
"Well I didn't. Besides when I had the balls to do it, they were engaged. So I will keep that secret to myself."

That was the story of my life thus far, the "what if". I was on a boat with no navigation in the ocean of dating. This cycle was getting redundant and I wanted to start a new one.

1 comment:

Unknown said...


I am all too familiar with placing myself in the "friend zone" unintentionally. We sleep on ourselves more than others do most times, I tell ya.