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03 July 2007

children: the new aphrodisiac




when i met men they usually ask the same 2 questions: 1. do you have a man/are you single? 2. do you have kids? because i am in my 30's and don't have kids, some guys are astonished and in some guys minds i get a few extra points. some men don't mind children, but most that i know want to date a woman sans kids. for some strange reason it is the opposite in women. you know i have my own theories on why and what draws women to men with kids.

the first time i witnessed the allure of babies and men was at the tender age of 14. i had a huge crush on my cousins brother in law (hey Randy! where is my CD?) and she had just had a baby. we all went shopping one day, and Randy decided to take the baby and stroll across the store. as he walked away, i watched grown women stop him, ask questions about the baby, flirt with him and decide whether to give him the number or not. besides being pissed off because they were getting at my man (LOL), i was confused because i thought that a baby would surely be repellent. and the exact opposite occurred and i did not understand why until i was older.

as an adult woman, there is nothing sexier to me than good parenting. just the other day, i watched a man discipline his kids and i told him after he was done that "i enjoyed that very much". Unless your testosterone levels are high, most women enjoy babies or little kids, especially if it is not theirs. so the combination of a good looking man with a cute baby playing daddy sends a women's ovaries into overdrive. what a woman sees is how this man would interact with her child or a child that they may have together in the future. and a lot of these women grew up in single parent homes, so that father figure ideal appeals to them. there is nothing wrong with this type of attraction, but men have gotten hip to it and are using it to their advantage.

 i recall getting cute messages from a young man's child. it was so cute, but i was a little upset because i had never met the child. which meant her father put her up to it and this was not the first time nor the last that he would do so. i don't agree with the way some men now use their children to entice women. but some women don't seem to care and get involved with the pseudo daddy's anyway.

my concern is that women, especially those missing their father, look at the father in their potential mate. but inadvertently we forget to focus on their other qualities. we don't ask often enough where is the baby's mother and what happened there? so we get caught up and find that this man is not exactly what we thought or imagined in our heads. so we know that kids are cute and that men with kids are even more attractive (less the baby mama drama), but we need to stay focused on what is important. His good parenting skills are definitely a plus but what about his relationship skills? (Relationship skills is a whole 'nother thing to be discussed later).

MORAL: i don't want to say beware of the man with children, but i would say step lightly into that situation. and be prepared for ANYTHING that can happen.

3 comments:

Bookeeka said...

Interesting observation...I never thought of it this way. I found many truths in what you wrote. Especially growing up in a single parent home I can see how we as women can romanticize this aspect of our potential mate. I would say the same could also be true for women that did not have the best relationship with their fathers. Anyway as always BGS great points thanks for the food for thought.

Black Yoda said...

Hey, it's not like I go out with the purpose of pimping my "little". :) As far as I'm concerned, women shouldn't be impressed with seeing a man with his son (or someone who could be his son). But I get extra attention whenever I'm with him. In my mind, we're just out chilling at the Art Musuem or the Amusement Park. In their mind, I'm doing something extraordinary. Go figure. To borrow a line from your previous blog, I'm just doing what you're "'posed to do". And if they're offering me attention, should I turn it down? What am I "'posed to do?" :) :)

Assertive Wit said...

which makes all the sense in the world why tramps flock to The Bestest...if I hear ONE MORE young dummy say "Awwww, that's so cute", I swear...I'm slapping them. Instead of looking at how nicely he's "playing" with his kid while he's "babysitting", be concerned about whether he is taking care of THAT kid. If he can't take care of his kid, what in the high Hades makes you think he's gonna take care of a kid he has with you? hell, can he even take care of you??? SMCH...simple people irritate me sometimes...LOL