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20 October 2008

Friends and Sex


throughout high school and college, i always had a grip of guy friends. and being the shallow heifer that i was, all of my guy friends were really good looking. i knew i only wanted to be friends with guys that i could imagine myself with, thus there was fineness that surrounded me. despite all types of sexual tension, i never hit on them and they never hit on me. i was too afraid of what sex would do to our friendship, so it was a definite no.

i dated a guy who said that men and women couldn't be friends. i am not sure if he said that because he suspected me or if he truly believed it. my problem wasn't sex with my guy friends but was love. not only were the guys good looking, they were actually good and decent people. so it was hard not to fall for them. but that is a whole other blog in itself; back to the sex. like i said, my guy friends were off limits to me and i never wanted to go there except once.

i had a guy friend that was so incredibly sexy and not just physically. he was one of the funniest dudes i knew, in addition to that perfect body. the sexual tension between us was like that of any attractive man and woman. but there was something a little different about this guy. i felt comfortable with him and felt i could say anything to him. so i went against my own rules and i made a move.
me: "so what about us?"
guy: "what about us?"
me: "we should just do it."
guy: "are you serious?"
me: "hell yeah!"
guy: "but we're friends."
me "i know, but..."
guy "i want us to stay friends"
me "dayum. well what if i said i didn't want to be your friend anymore?"
guy "what?"
me " i quit you as my friend. so wassup now?"
he just laughed. then i laughed. the idea was to absurd for us to venture toward a sexual relationship. we knew what would happen and we loved our friendship too much to change it.

to be sexual with a friend and maintain a friendship is hard. at some point someone in that friendship will develop feelings and then the situation becomes different. unless you both have decided that you want to pursue something further and move from friendship to relationship. but for people who know what they are getting into and are prepared to accept what may happen to the friendship, it is a good situation. it was just easier for me to round up some hot guy to use for sex and then talk about it with my boys.

3 comments:

8thlight said...

1. Was your friend gay or something?

2. I now see why we aren't friends.

:( . . .

Eb the Celeb said...

I have been friends with a guy... strictly friends and he has been my jump off when we are not in relationships for the past 4 years...

so it can work if both people have the right state of mind... we even talk about relationships we have with other people...

but in the past couple of months its seems like he has been wanting to see me more.. I mean we always hung out as friends... movies, paintball, really fun stuff that we both enjoy just as friends without hooking up after but lately he has been calling more... coming over more... so I dont know if things are shifting for him... and don't even know how I would feel if he approached me about things shifting because he is a great guy.

Weird... ok... I'm gon before I tell all my business

She Gave Me the Keys said...

okay. brace yourself. it HAS been done. girl and guy. great friends. greater sex. i know firsthand. there were a number of factors involved that wouldn't normally be common for others BUT it was what it was for us. we had an understanding. and it worked for years. do i see that ever happening again? no. not really. i don't even really look for it.

...

sike. i'm lyin'. lol.