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06 January 2013

5 Things I learned in 2012

Someone who is a fan of my blog asked me to write about the most important things I learned in 2012. I wanted to share it with you guys also. I hope you enjoy!

This past year has been a year of transitions with great highs and lows.  Most of my lessons are pretty self explanatory and hopefully I will be able to move forward with the things that I have learned.

1.       Say what I feel - It has been my  M.O. in most of my past relationships to stifle my feelings. I was never a fan of rocking the boat, so I never did until it was too late. This year I had to speak up for myself because I realized that no one else would.  It sounds like a simple task, but after being quiet for so long … well let me just say it was hard.  But I am in a better place having learned this lesson.

2.       Believe in my abilities – I have decided to call myself a writer, but was never sure that people enjoyed my writing.  I started to think that if I have no confidence in what I do, why should others. So I have to believe in me and what I can do before I expect others to do the same.

3.       Don’t be afraid to feel - A part of being silent about your feelings, is stuffing those feelings away and numbing yourself. I have been “gangsta” for a while and this year a flood of emotion returned to me once I spoke up. It was awkward and I did not enjoy being an emotional creature.  It was abnormal and scared the shit out of me. But the reassurance of someone close let me know it was okay. I was no longer frightened.

4.       It is okay to let go – This needs no explanation.  Sometimes we hold on to things past their season. Release those things and get you some free.

5.       Not to allow my feelings to be disregarded – My new found feelings were not only overwhelming for me, but for the people around me. And in an effort to calm my emotions, they wanted to sweep them under a rug. It was more about their comfort than mine.  But I wouldn’t let it happen that easy. I made them see, hear and feel the shit I was going through. This was a part of my healing process and they couldn’t stop it once it got started.

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