Knowing where you stand ...

we spent every day together for five months. on my days off from work, i would go and sit in his living room and watch TV until it was time for him to go to work. then i would return when he came home. i wanted to just be in his presence. he came to family BBQ's, met my parents and my mother even made him a plate (only old school people will get that last part). when his car broke down, i became chauffeur to him and his cousin. so you can imagine my surprise when he told me we were not a couple and that he was not my boyfriend.

i should have known something was up when i caught him out shopping with his "cousin" and he was supposed to be visiting his sick granny in New Jersey. or the time i bought him a Valentine's Day gift and received nothing in return. but my clueless ass thought we were a couple. the reason why, i made an assumption. i never asked the question to know where i stood in his life. of course he liked me. i was driving him around, having sex with him (that wasn't good), and not forcing the "boyfriend" label onto him.

in this clip above, Judah invites Stacie to a BBQ after seeing her several times. she has made the assumption that they are dating. but when it is time for her to be introduced to his friends, Judah referred to her as just Stacie. the scene was awkward for several reasons: 1) Stacie assumed she was more than just "Stacie" 2) Stacie's friend Denise had just been introduced as the girlfriend of Judah's roommate. 3) Stacie & Judah had been seeing each other longer than Denise & Mike (Judah's roommate) have known each other.  after the incident and feeling a tad humiliated, Stacie asks Judah where they stood. he said they were homies, just homies.

watching that hurt me to my heart because i had been there before. so how do you prevent this from happening in the future? you ask the question: where do i stand? what is going on between us? lots of times women don't want to rock the boat because the attention is good, the affection is great. if we start to inquire about a status, then we may lose it all. but what is the point in working hard toward nothing? never put in lots of energy for something that may not be. so please ask about your situation, don't get caught out there with assumptions.