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23 July 2007

how you start it, is how you finish it

when she met him, he had been dating his girlfriend for about 10 months. she admired him from afar and knew of his relationship. it still did not stop her from sleeping with him when he approached her. it was not a one night stand but an affair of sorts. in her mind, he would grow tired of the girlfriend and he would be all hers.

well when he was caught and confronted about his extra curricular activities, he shunned her in the face of his girlfriend. she was a stalker. that was the story he told everyone. she was devastated. not because he denied her but she believed that they were friends. they went their separate ways and he married his girlfriend. but not long into his marriage, she got the call.

he missed their friendship and he want to have dinner. she agreed to dinner and later much more. so now she was his mistress and she still felt that he was living a lie with his wife. eventually the wife grew tired of the cheating and she left. this was a sure sign that he was meant to be with her. well of course they dated or so she thought they were dates. he would stand her up and never show when she really needed him, but the sex was always fabulous.

somehow she came to the conclusion that she was in love with this man. a man who up to this point had been selfish and only used her for his own sexual gratification. in the midst of this lopsided relationship, he had a daughter with another woman. she was hurt but because they never placed any boundaries or titles on their situation, she could not complain. she finally mustered up enough courage to ask him about them being an item and building a true relationship. he told her point blank, "you are not the one and if you were you would not have to ask."

she was destroyed. when she asked me what i thought, i had one phrase for her.
"how you start it is how you finish it."
she started the entire situation on the wrong foot and there was no way it was going to develop into some wonderful, ideal romance. and that has always been my approach to situations with men. you can't create rules to a game in the middle of playing.

MORAL: know what you want in the beginning and let it be known. be truthful to yourself and your partner

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