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07 July 2008

And the winner is.....

Mr. Dumb Egotistical Loser*
do you want to know what the award is for? the man(boy) who did the most damage to my heart and psyche. knowing him, his stupid ass he would be proud of that title. and that would explain why things did were destined to crash and burn.

i had a conversation with my current about how you change after relationships. you analyze what was done wrong and try not to repeat those same actions. the bad things in a relationship shape your outlook on the opposite sex, set your tolerance level and whether or not you trust people. this dude made me do all of the above and then some. i still look back and can't figure out why HE had that effect on me.

when i met him, i was fresh out of college and looking to hook up with a nice guy. i had endured a dating drought in college that was caused by another jackass of a dude (we will speak on him in another blog), so i was super thirsty; parched even. one of my best friends is a very good looking dude with good looking friends, so it was natural that my girls and i would hook up with them when i had my graduation celebration. that was when i spotted the Dumb Egotistical Loser. he was tall like i liked and he favored one of my favorite rappers.....Ghostface Killer! i was a smitten almost immediately. we exchanged numbers, talked a bit and found that we liked a lot of the same things. we started hanging out and spending time together. it was great!

he was the ideal guy for me at least until we had sex. it was horrible to the Nth degree and i was crushed but still hung out with the dude because we got along so well and i liked him. but i started to notice that he was taking shots at me when we would hang out together. he had issues with how i dressed, even wishing he should take me shopping because if he had his way, "i would never wear another t-shirt again." for those who don't know, i am from Virginia Beach and in the summer (when we met) it was hot most of the time. wearing anything more than a tank top or t shirt was doing too much.

he also started to dumb himself down and fish for compliments, say things to make me question my decisions and just take advantage of the fact that i liked him. i definitely had sucker stamped on my forehead and to add insult to injury the sex was STILL bad. i was soooooo stuck on the fact that he was my ideal i thought. he had all the qualities that i found desirable but i started to think that maybe that wasn't really what i wanted or needed.

the straw that broke the worn out camel's back was when he told me about this chick that he liked. she was supposedly the 1st girl he liked in 2 yrs. WHAT THE FEEZY????? did i just waste 10 months thinking this dude liked me? i all of a sudden knew what the phrase "sumfin to do" meant. i just walked away. well i actually sped away kicking rocks up on him.

i thought of intricate plots of revenge but did not act on any of them. my mother attempted to run him over, but cooler heads prevailed. i suddenly did not feel so bad about the cutie from Hampton University who was blowing up my phone(GTD). i knew that the universe was on my side because i had done nothing wrong to him. i totally put myself at a disadvantage by tolerating his behavior, but karma was my friend.

so when i found out that his wedding was a disaster and that he sleeps on the floor of his in-laws spot but pays the mortgage, i just chuckled. my friend karma really is a bitch.

*the award sort of resembles a d*ck because that is what he was. LOL!!!!!!


Anonymous said...

So he was concerned with your fashion????? I don't know about that. When it comes to female fashion, my only concern is how easy it is to take off. :) He could have been doing that (being hypercritical and fishing for compliments) because he knew he was wack in the sack. It might have just been his way of compensating. On the other hand, women can always play the "lacking where you should be packing" card. It doesn't matter how herculean the effort, all a woman has to do is say it was wack and it's a wrap. :)

Don said...

Great reflectin post. I too could stand to sit back and extend my brain towards some reflections about both my good and bad experiences with women.

Especially since I cannot live without y'all.