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13 July 2014

Girl you can't keep running ...

i am a runner.
no i don't run marathons, half marathons or even 5K's. in my defense, it kinda hurts when i try to run. but that's not the type of running i am talking about.

when i was getting my first Master's degree in Counseling, i wrote a paper about children of divorce.  my focus was how the divorce affected the intimate relationships of children when they were older. i did a lot of research and most of the information i came across was very similar. i found that children of divorce fit in two specific categories: clingers and runners. please understand that i am giving you layman's terminology because it's been a minute and it's also easier to describe it in this manner.

clingers were people who held on to relationships for dear life. despite the difficulties that the relationship may have endured, a clinger will stay and fight until the end. the relationship is always most important  to a clinger. the goal is to maintain that connection no matter what. now you can imagine that a runner is the exact opposite of a clinger and you would be correct. runners take off at any sign of turmoil or hard times. yes runners want to be in relationships, but they definitely don't want the difficult moments.

my running is a defense mechanism, used to protect my heart from further abuse. have i run away from some good people? probably. do i regret my running? sometimes, but i only move forward. i have tried not to run and i was successful for a good stretch. but recently i pulled out my Nikes and have tried them on a couple of times. i never laced them up, but they are starting to feel comfortable on my feet.

i always knew i was a runner at heart, but never thought other people could see that in me. recently a good friend of mine gave me a cd and told me that one of the songs was written for me specifically. the title of the song: Running. i listened to the song and realized that i might actually have a problem. damn, maybe i need to work on this running thing.

so here i am stretching my calves and warming up for a would be sprint. and i'm thinking ... on your mark, get set .....

*this blog was written for information purposes only ...i'm still learning the lesson*


Don said...

I feel you.

After reading this blog twice I realized some things about my past relationships. I was a runner, clinger, and cheater. Whenever a woman accused me of running, it was because I was cheating. Of course I felt attached to two of those women due to children in the relationship. And I cheated because I felt they were gonna eventually leave me anyway.

I had some growing up to do, huh? Lol.

Good blog.

a black girl who did date said...

Thanks Don!!