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03 August 2014

The First Date: To Sex or Not to Sex

i have never (technically) had sex on the first date. that doesn't mean that i have not wanted to do it, but i always stop myself. let me take you through my thought process.

me: lordt he looks delicious, i could just ...
conscious: don't even think about it.
me: but its been a minute and he is looking all manlike.
conscious: nope.
me: why not man? why not?
conscious: he is not gonna respect you if you do that.
me: i don't need respect tonight.
conscious: really? how about this....can you imagine dealing with him for 18 yrs?
me: why you go there?
conscious: i'm saying, there are a ton of condom babies out there.

so after that debate, my libido has been crushed and i resign to just enjoying the company of the man that i am with. i am even a little frightened of making out with said gentleman because then i am going to want to *insert pelvic thrusts*. don't get me wrong, i want respect from my sexual partner. but what does us having sex have to do with respect? it is an old wives tale that has been circulating since the beginning of time. "if you give it up too quick, then he won't respect you." and that no good, ole fake afro, veneer wearing Steve Harvey has upped the ante by propagating the 90 day rule. but the real question is - did anybody ever ask women if they wanted to have sex on the first date or before 90 days?

understand that if a guy has sex on the first date, he gets a high five from the room. if a chick does the same, she gets looks and sneers especially from other women. i am going to assume that everybody reading my blog is an adult (if not LOG OFF NOW CHIRREN) and we all make adult decisions. i asked a few women about their "sex on the first date" experience and they were more positive than the world would want you to believe. each person spoke about being attracted to the person they were on the date with and the huge level of comfort they felt. those were the main factors that lead to the sex. these women are grown and if they decide to have sex with their dates on the first night, good for them.

as far as the people that are judging them, please go out and get you some. because obviously no one is volunteering the sex to you. why are you worried about the next chick/dudes bedroom bully activities? as long as people are safe and consenting, it's not my business. oh and as long as she ain't fooling with MY peen, she is good in my book. so if you feel that urge and you want to knock boots (dating myself ) on the first date, i say "handle your business". life is too short to live it filled with regrets, regret nothing and seek happiness.

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